When I first found out about this wonderful project that ‘Thanks 4 the Mammaries Calendar’ was doing I thought, Fabulous, what a brilliant thing to do to raise money for Breast Cancer NOW.
What I saw was asking for people who had been touched by Cancer to be part of this Calendar. 

I had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer at the end of 2022 and had benefited from what the great charity Breast Cancer NOW offered so I felt this would be a way for me to ‘give back’ a little.

I felt nervous and excited as I thought about this and knew instinctively that this was something that I ‘should’ do.

I have never felt good about my body and been very self-conscious in front of a camera. Since my two surgeries, radiotherapy and chemotherapy, I was less than confident in the look of my body …..but there was a nagging thought that kept coming up for me……this would push me out of my comfort zone and maybe  help me address my body issues, which is something I have promised myself I would do as I begin my cancer recovery, with the added benefit of being something that would maybe help others too. Firstly by seeing the images and, if they were struggling too, they might take some comfort from this…and to help raise money for the charity.

Putting my reservations to one side I applied to be a part of this project.
When I got accepted every emotion possible flooded through my body. 

I was thrilled at being included (there were only 12 places after all)
I was excited to be going to do this.
I was uncertain about how it would all take place.
I was terrified at the thought of being photographed. 

I also felt panic about, (maybe, my choice,) revealing my body and perhaps my scars to an audience of goodness knows how many.

Despite all this I was certain that I would be going through with it. I needed to do this for my own self growth.

I had some delightful conversations with Sharon, the amazing person that was organising this project and right from the start she made me feel safe. She answered all my questions and assured me that we would only do what I was comfortable with. 

On the actual day of the photoshoot, I met Sharon and her brilliant team for the first time. She had booked a lovely studio, and I was looked after so well by everybody. 

I had my hair and make-up done while the scene for the photos was set up. I felt like a film star and loved every minute of the ‘pampering’. I was so nervous but also excited and more emotional than I had expected.

 We all shared stories about Breast Cancer from those who had it and those we love that have gone through the experience too. I felt heard, held and totally understood.

I am grateful for Sharon’s patience and compassion. I knew she had a busy day and the work she was putting in was huge but, at no point did I feel hurried. Time was taken for me to feel very comfortable with all that was suggested. As I said, it was up to me to show as little or as much as I felt ok with. 
I was determined to keep to the promise I made myself and just trusted the process and went with the flow. 

Everyone made me feel so good about the way I looked, and Sharon expertly guided me through different poses, she really knows her craft. I found some of it very strange but Sharon’s (and her Sister Debbie’s, who was a great help on the day) sense of fun led to the most delightful experience. 
It truly was a joyous occasion, and I am so grateful to everyone who supported me throughout.
I met with Sharon the next day to go through the images and decide on one for the Calendar. 
I was blown away by how professional the pictures looked, and I loved what she had done. My self-criticism popped up at times, but Sharon was very encouraging about the images.